You found this band… One Dimension? The Directions? One Direction, that’s it!
They’re hot, they’re popular, they’re talented, they’re hot. So, they’re perfect. You have to jump on this bandwagon. NOW.
There’s just one problem. The bandwagon isn’t very accepting. There’s a lot of fighting and hate within the fandom.
This is your guide to becoming a directioner that not everybody hates.
Step One: Learn about all the boys. Refer to the directionary for this.
Step Two: YouTube is your new best friend. You’re going to spend a lot of time watching interviews, meet and greets, concert videos, and more. But this is where you need to start. Watch all of these. Worship them. They are the directioners’ bible.
Step Three: Get a Twitter and/or a Tumblr. Preferably both. If you already have them, go follow a crap ton of One Direction blogs/twitters. My advice is to get a seperate blog or twitter just for One Direction talk. No one at your school will appreciate your constant tweets about how hot Harry Styles is. Sign up for Tumblr here. Sign up for Twitter here.
Step Four: This is one of the most important steps. If you don’t want to be made fun of for being new, do not fight against people saying One Direction is gay. Fight for it! This is what we do! We “ship” members of One Direction together, meaning we pretend they’re in a relationship. The most popular ships are Larry Stylinson (Harry and Louis), and Niam (Niall and Liam). There are countless options of ships, so find the one you love and stick to it. But, for the love of Paul, do not get angry when fans talk about our flawless homosexuals.
Step Five: Don’t overuse the jokes. In fact, don’t really bring them up at all. The carrot jokes, the “NO,” Jimmy protested jokes, the Harry being naked jokes, the spoons jokes, the Niall eating a lot jokes, the Zayn and his mirror jokes, the Kevin jokes; they’re all blacklisted. If these are the only things you talk about, you will most likely be labeled as new and irrelevant. Here are some ideas of things that you can talk about!
- How the boys are gay
- People you hate – Lily Halpern, Sydney Dalton, Stalker Sarah, etc, etc…
- Fanfictions (See Step Six)
- Hooking up with members of 1D
- Anything really. Just not those jokes. Can you say “cringey”?
Step Six: Read some fanfictions! Whether they’re mature and saucy, or rated G and cutesy, these are what will take up your time when you’re not watching new videos, tweeting, looking at pictures, or ignoring your homework. Read a few. See how you feel in your heart. Relish in the magic of well-written fanfictions. You can start here, here, or here. Happy reading!
Things to do if you want everyone to hate you: Pick fights with other directioners (especially big twitter or tumblr accounts). Post excessively about One Direction on Facebook. Say you’re a bigger fan than any other directioner. Post pictures of you eating soup with a fork. Send hate to Danielle and Eleanor. Ask people who Danielle and Eleanor are. Wear slutty clothes and a crapton of makeup when you meet One Direction. Talk about One Direction at school! Don’t learn the boys’ full names, birthdays, and hometowns. Ask what race Zayn is. Ask how they were formed. Lie when people ask you if you’re a new fan.
If there are any terms on this How To that you do not understand, go to your Tumblr (which you made after Step Four, right?) and enter the term into the search bar.
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Congrats! You’re on your way to becoming a real directioner!
The Directioner Times 